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Feb. 24th, 2017

Day 55

Dear Friends

I was aiming for 10hrs of sleep. I think I ended with 11. I kind of woke up and couldnt get up and fell back. So I needed that I guess

Not a bad day to begin with kinda sour as time went on. My parents never got why we stopped going to Calvary Chapel. I hate their beliefs. I hate how they think everything and I mean EVERYTHING can be fixed with just prayer. No need for medicine or therapy if you are sick in the mind. Its all on you. Your faith in God. Your faith is why you arent better or you are. Sad I was raised in that church. I left it in 2008. I was there some in 2011. Left it for good in 2012 never looked back. But how they are making my dad and mom feel right now is really getting me mad. I know and believe God heals. But that is not the only thing. God doesnt heal everyone. We need drugs and therapy. We live in an unperfect world. And things are never going to be. So we might need therapy to get by. Sure dad had a good day then got a panic attack. He still has PTSD IT IS NEVER GOING AWAY! And for those men those elders at the church to make it seem like the reason dad is this way is all about faith is just wrong. UGH

My fitbit came! It came in a day. I was so happy about this one. I am wearing it now. I plan to wear it most days all the the time except while it charges and while I shower. Bring it on being more healthy

Took a walk which was nice. To get out of the house. It was nice to get away from all this.

I hate having to watch my SPN on my ipad or on demand. I hate how I was home all last night but unable to watch it or FEAR dad would say something. See me. Whatever. Judge me. I hate this. I wont stop watching cause of him. I just will not.

that is all for now. Back to work next 2 days. Sad work very little. Less all the time. good day all

Feb. 23rd, 2017

Day 54

Dear Friends,

Today was long. I got 3hrs of sleep. I thought I was gonna get 4

School was long. Working on our PSA's. Yup. Watching our show from Tuesday not so fun. Embarrassing.

Came home. Took a tiny nap of 30min. I wanna die I am so tired

Things my mind does while tired and working with this brain damaged mind they never go away

Going to bed late. Sister is still not home. yup

Feb. 22nd, 2017

Day 53

Dear Friends,

I got 10 hours of sleep it was BEAUTIFUL! I mean I was still tired but getting sleep was very helpful after days of not getting sleep. Yes

My Tax return is HERE! I will shop tonight. I swear

Work was a bit busy. For a Wednesday. No numbers for me. And we got off late enough that I will be happy with extra minutes. That is about it. Hours still suck next week even more so

I bought all my toys. Cant wait for them to come to me. Ipod, fitbit & camera. Come on come on

Of course after having fun I discovered my wire for my ipad is dead maybe the charger. And universal studios prices went up by $20. When I save i cant be saving

Feb. 21st, 2017

Day 52

Dear Friends,

4 days behind again sigh

Today I got very little sleep. What sleep I got was mushed together in a pile of crap. Top off with getting up early for school equals no fun for me

Secretly hoped I would get my tax return today. 5 weeks since I filed. I was very disappointed again about that ugh

School was not bad. Did our talk show. Which was very nerve racking. I was like WHY am I nervous when I was on tv? Oh wait I was on tv and nervous then too. There you go haha. We did alright unsure how we got our grade yet dont know. Will watch Thur. I am OKAY not keeping a copy of this for the future jobs thanks!

Sprinter before but got too late to do anything before class. But after the bus mom took me by Jacks. I got 2 sandwichs and an iced coffee cheers

Took an hour nap. Which was nice. I wanted more. But it helped me get by rest of the night. Watched tv and waited for my sister

now bed. Good night

Feb. 20th, 2017

Day 51

Dear Friends,

Got like 8hrs of sleep. OF COURSE. My first sleep in day since last Monday and I instead of sleeping in woke too soon and couldnt fall back. I hate Mondays

Nice day out. Beautiful perfect weather. Cool and light clouds was just nice. I wish I could have gotten out in it more

I did things today didnt think i would. I gave my dog a bath first time in 3 weeks finding time has been impossible. We did a walk which was half planned.

Things that make me happy: looking at all my dolls from happy places. I have 16 now but that is not all the dolls from either season. Plenty for the new season to get. And a few from last season. I love the happy place shopkins too. They are still my favorite ever. Waiting for walmart to catch up and get them in

Trying to not hold my breath my tax return could come tomorrow. It should be here by Wednesday. Soon as its there I will be buying my fitbit, ipod & camera. The sooner the better. Then saving some. I have new goals including putting aside something for disneyland I hope we can go again in March. And other things. Especially with crap hours at work. But keeping $200 no touch money unless it is an emergency in my savings. I also have other money in there. Saving slowly for a video camera I cant get with my tax return. Soon as I get that in a few months new workout shoes & amazon fire tablet. Unless I find running shoes for $20. I saw some at BIG FIVE. But they expire on the 22nd so unless my tax money comes there is no point.

I wish I was working today. I hate working. My feet hurt my shoes are killing me. My job hates me. But I truly NEED the money. My sister said something few weeks ago about her own job but applies to me too. "I hate my job because as much as I hate it i know I need it too" Exactly!

Gotta be careful. My left hand is starting to hurt. I could be back in pain tomorrow. NOT looking forward to that one. Till tomorrow have a good one. All caught up

Oh and today is 10 months till my GULP 38th birthday. I dont feel my age. But I am that old. I truly am....

Feb. 19th, 2017

Day 50

Dear Friends,

2 days to go

Today was not the best start to my day. All h*ll breaks lose for me for some reasons on Sundays. I call it MonSundays cause it seems like Monday comes out early on Sundays. Nearly every week something on top of another. And when my day begins bad it never gets better

It was raining when I first got up. Not hard rain but enough. Mom agreed since they skipping church to take me to work. But I wasnt working yet. She was taking me early. Around same time I would be there from the Sprinter.

I went to Panda Express then she dropped me off at Starbucks. It was lunch and then coffee. I walked to work about 30min later the rain gone. That was good I was glad

Busy annoying day. No credit card apps. Over the new guy. Just no fun. And we off late again 8:15

Did my shopping. Then came home for our Sunday movie not the best choice. Sad it happened but not like I thought at all. I didnt pay attention but it graphic and true story too so that was a bust

bed late I am beat. Good night

Feb. 18th, 2017

Day 49

Dear Friends,

3 days behind that is my limit!

Got up after not sleeping enough again. I had a big shift ahead of me. I had to get ready fast with my sister going in after me. I hate not having my own bathroom. I am not gonna lie. I had my own bathroom for a year twice in my life. That was the best 2 years ever (not in a row but still)

My hand is almost better thankfully. Only a week of pain for no reason and it is going away. I even wore my other gloves at work today not my heavy gray ones I wear to bed only usually

Work was SUPER busy. So busy we running around like chickens with our heads cut off. It was pretty nuts. Just why?!?!?

But glady got 2 credit cards. I always asks. They know I asks. Just cause I dont get any doesnt mean I wouldnt and dont ask everyone. Just saying. Wish they would recall that when giving my hours to the new people :(

I worked a long 8hr shift. We got off so late I almost worked till 10:30 this like never happens.

And back again tomorrow. Good night all

Feb. 17th, 2017

Day 48

Dear Friends,

We are caught up ladies and gentlemen! For today at least

Got like 6hrs of sleep. Stupid computer not 66hrs imagine! I am so tired I can hardly see straight. Tomorrow I can sorta sleep in at least more than today.

Work was blah. I almost told my boss I need more hours but lost my nerve. Tongue twisted. 4.5hrs felt like 4.5yrs it was forever day

My hand is feeling nearly 100% better. I think we are 90%. I will try tomorrow with my other glove & just bring my gray one along. Shall see. Now left hand behave! I need to start my hand exercises again since we doing better hope it helps and prevents the future

Got a 10 out of 10 on my first online quiz. Go me. I watched my SPN on my ipad while taking notes then did not bad. Glad that is done. It was due tomorrow

Well it is raining all kinds of animals out there. Unsure how else everyone is doing. But we got tons of rain in the past few hours since we got home. Mom got me. I didnt even attempt the sprinter. More rain tomorrow fun

Gladly got some shopping done today. Maybe more tomorrow. Listening to someone else discover happy places was fun THEY ARE THE BEST

I am done now soooo good night all

Feb. 16th, 2017

Day 47

Dear Friends,

I slept 100% horrible. And began my day like that. The pain in my wrist is getting better but sleeping much is not fun. i just cant do it. I got maybe 3hrs if I was lucky. I was pretty desperate last night for sleep you have no idea

So I barely studied for my first in person quiz. I thought I could have 1hr when I got up and another 45min at school. i got 20 min at home and 10min at school. I am unsure how I did

In class I did the lights for the talk show. It was easy and simple and all I could handle with my wrist. My teacher feeling bad for me. She has dealt with carpal tunnel she knows my pain!

Came home to find out that my tax money wont tell me when I getting paid. It is really not cool to do this to me. What did i ever do to you

i need more sleep. Not happening tonight I get up early tomorrow. I did try to nap for 40min i might have slept 10min give up

ugh bed

Feb. 15th, 2017

Day 46

Dear Friends,

Count down 3 more days to caught up

My wrist pain is horrible today. I thought yesterday was bad. I guess working 7hrs was not good for it but like I could decide this. I had to come in. I was scheduled and well I NEED THE HOURS. I thought I was gonna die all night. Trying to be nice while trying to hardly move my wrist. Coming home to ice it. THE PAIN IS FREAKING REAL

Work was okay. I was just glad we got to our goal today. We have been so bad on making our goals. I was glad we hit that. And stayed nearly till the latest we can. All the hours I can get I need them

I need to do my homework this is impossible. My stupid hand. I have a test tomorrow. I will study when I get up

Bad weather coming this weekend. I am prepared to again not take the sprinter. Swear every time my job gives me a shift where i can take the sprinter it rains OR my sister comes for me or something else. I havent walked to the sprinter in months!

Why is there like NO candy left at Walmart? NO plush? I swear. Just giant ones. And cheap a** candy I didnt care for. I wanted a monkey I was eyeing. I thought for sure. But NOOO wth happened.

good night now

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